yesterday was sheares hall's SNDCC(Singapore National Day Celebration - yes, late i know=X)! =) it was a formal dinner held annually in hall whereby juniors had to ask seniors out for the dinner. food was average, performances were not bad, camwhoring was AWESOME. hahas!

oh, and some funny pictures i found in my camera! hahs!

finally....................................................................

HAPPY 8TH MONTH TO MY BABY CHEN JIAYI !!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)

11:41 AM



went supper with tim! was his 2nd time driving without his parents after he had gotten his license. hahas! was funnn and funnny!!=D his mum's mercs has this super cool navigator which speaks! except that it isn't all the time accurate as 'she'tells him to turn left/right when there isn't any road to turn to =X
anyhow, when tim finally found his way to my hall(before 11pm as he promised), we headed to holland v for 2am dessert!!! =) the place and ambient was nice just that the menu was limited. and one thing interesting was that the waiter explained to us all the flavours of sauces they used in the dessert blah blah blah when it was served! and we so couldn't much get it cuz each dessert had like 3 to 4 sauces so we just listened and pretended that we knew and was following what he was saying =X anyhow, we talked and caught up after a pretty long time. was nice =)
oh! and he was so funny. he attempted to put carpark coupons for the first time after he got his license and his HUGE fingers tore a $1 carpark coupon when he was trying to press one digit(the circle thingy you have to pluck out to indicate the date/time blah blah) out of the coupon! super hilarious. he wasted a $1 coupon just like that. hahhas!
as expected, we got lost on the way back to hall (what could you expect from tim =X) and went zig-zag one big round!
but supper was fun! thanks tim! =)
we should have more impromptu e1 gatherings in future! =)=) 2:48 AM



i realised i haven't been updating frequently, guess i'm getting lazier each day.
anyhow, lectures started and out of 5 days, i end at 6pm on 4 =(
the comforting thing is, i get to wake up later! =D
i know this semester barely started but somehow i'm hoping for it to end already. can't wait to go genting/bangkok/taiwan with baby! and that's only IF daddy finally agrees to let me go =(
i kept thinking, i'm such a big girl already, why can't daddy trust me to do things in a mature manner? but pondering about it, i remember daddy telling me once, "no matter how old you are, you're always daddy's little girl" *awwww....* . so i guess it's hard for daddy to let me go, to let another man take care of me like how he's been doing so faithfully the second i was born.
okay, this is sounding like i'm getting married =X
i had a quarrel with daddy over the weekend cuz he didn't like me going to church. he insisted that church takes away family time. i know what he says is true, church's at expo, an hour and a half away. which means, 1.5(travelling there) + 2(service) + 1.5(travelling back) = 5hrs gone! so every sunday i leave house at 12.30pm and reach home at 5.30pm, sometimes even later. but i tried to make things work, i tried to work out a schedule to accomodate more time for my family. but anyhow, the verdict : not to go church on alternate sundays(when he's not working). i was so upset about it and refused to talk to him the whole of sat night + sunday. but eventually, during dinner we talked again. that's what family's like isn't it? to be upset about each other not more then 1 day. hahas!
mummy says daddy and i quarrel cuz we have the same personality. we're stubborn and do not like to give in. issit? oh no. baby, you've gotta becareful.
oh, and speaking about baby, he's working at clementi camp these few days! which means.. he's closer to hall, which means.. i get to meet him more!! =)=) 12:10 PM



mummy was so lucky to have gotten NDP tickets for national day itself! apparently her company balloted them for her and she gave them to baby and i! =) unfortunately, it started raining, so there we were in our raincoats! thank god it wasn't pouring heavily.. hungry meeee
the black knights were AWESOME. what else could i say?


2:23 PM



sometimes i mean the opposite of what i say...
i just found out that i'm such a hard person to decipher 10:34 PM



goodness i woke up at 5.30am today -without any help of alarms clocks.
i barely slept for 2+hrs.
i guess i subconsciously didn't want a repeat of yesterday. 6:04 AM



this was a day in which deep inside my heart, i wanted to ask, "oh god.... why?"

today i woke up 55 min later than i was supposed to, took 10min to get ready and rushed off to catch the bus in hope of not being late on the first day of work.
i was putting on my contacts when i couldn't find one side of them (i think i dropped it somewhere when i took it off yesterday unknowingly) and wore only one side for the whole day(the rest of my contact lenses were in hall).
i forgot to bring my scandals back from hall and wore one which caused me blisters for the rest of the day.
my handphone went dead in the morning and my charger's in hall, just when it was a day which i badly needed the phone.
what could make my day worse.

*then the soc pple came over to my place for some supposedly og gathering at night. very few of the freshies came, mainly seniors around.
someone : "what kind of planning is this, so few freshies came??"
and so the blame came to me YET AGAIN. why me? at least i tried my best to ask others to come.
at least i opened my place for the gathering.
i tried, to make it successful, to make it work, to make everyone happy, to please all of you. i tried.. in case u didn't know, it was a tiring day of work.. was out distributing magazines since early the morning. i didn't complain, i didnt quip. why must you say such hurtful words, when i didn't mind doing the planning, the bookings for all of you.
for the first time, i teared instantly, in the function room. i just couldn't help it anymore. i used to be able to hide it well, at least for another 5 min or so, when i could successfully leave the place and sob in my cosy corner, where no one else could see. i didn't know if anyone saw as i was desperately trying to hide it all.
but i guess they/he realised something was wrong, and was surprisingly nicer to me when i went back after weeping at home.
i called daddy to ask if he could fetch me back to hall at night as i desperately needed the phone + contact lenses. he said okay.
**when the gathering ended, at 11pm, i went up and daddy said : "you expect me to wait for you till 11+ and fetch you back?"
i couldnt bathe, take stuffs that i wanted to to hall and had to rush back to catch the bus,mrt,bus back to hall - at 11+pm.

i called X when * happened and X was out. i understand that X was busy and it wasn't convenient to talk. but i desperately needed a leaning shoulder. maybe i was expecting too much. i couldn't say much cuz it wasn't the appropriate timing. it was a short call and i coudn't tell how terrible i felt, how i needed some consolation, how i needed someone to remind me that i didn't have to please everybody. i thought X could detect something. that i was down. that i was sobbing. that i felt so maligned. but i guess it was me whose expecting the whole world to know me how i'd feel, to understand me even without me explaining. i remember carmen telling me once how 'he' could detect even a tinge of unhappiness she felt. probably i hoped X was like that as well.. then again, not everyone had that kind of sensitiviy, that kind of telepathy. even i can't be that sensitive to others, how can i expect others to be that way?

i'm sorry that i didn't call you back once i reached hall. i wasn't in a right state of mind to talk to you. i guess i needed some time to think, to ponder, to be alone. you can't be there so often for me as much as i know you want to. i need to be more independant. i know i may have been asking too much of you, i'm sorry.. it's just that i turn to you for everything, and that was how dependant i am. but it clearly shows that i shouldn't anymore rely so much on you, that it does us no good.

to colin : thanks, for asking them/him to stop pushing the blame on me. though i expected it from someone else, it came from you instead. you didn't know how appreciative and touched i felt. from the bottom of my heart, thank you =)

i do get hurt, and even more than others, i get affected by things much easily. you don't see it just because i hide it so well, so perfectly, so flawlessly. 1:24 AM