we chatted over dinner, over wine, over dessert..
about relationships.. friendships.. our future.. our studies.. it was nice catching up =)
we talked about the issue of how some people are husband/boyfriend material, about how our families influenced our outlook on marriage and family, about hall, about how god changed our lives, about what kind of spouse we yearn to be in future.. these kept me thinking, of what i'd be like next time. would i have a happy family? would i have successful and long lasting marriage? would i have a good career? okay, maybe i'm thinking too far. i've got to concentrate on my studies first! hahas!
anyhow.. we moved on to the topic of long distance relationships. baby might be going to australia to do vet science =( and so, i asked for opinions..
it's definitely not going to be easy.. i don't know, but i'm just not confident of myself. 5 years. it's half a decade without him by my side. Those around him says let it be a test. those around me said we shouldn't waste time - it was straightforward, cruel, yet somehow realistic. what would it be like getting to see him on a frequent basis again only after 5 yrs? would we feel as if we're strangers? our habits will have changed by then, would we still be used to having each other around? i don't know, and we'll never know until the 5 years passed. by then i'll be.. 26? it's all so uncertain..
i have an answer deep down inside though, and i told joseph about it. amazingly, he read my mind even before i told him about it. he thought the same way too. it might not be the nicest thing to do, but i thought that it would be for the benefit of us both, as harsh as it may be. but i'm not brave enough to do it, so perhaps i'll not. i don't know.
we'll see how things go i guess.. but the thought that he's even going to leave brings tears to my eyes. i'm so used to him, so dependant on him, and so in love with him. even one day without him, i'm missing him already. oh well, god has plans for my life. should he be the one for me, even after 5 years of not seeing him, not contacting him, i'll somehow get to meet him, and fall for him all over again. but like what baby mentioned, it's gonna be a risk we'll have to take.
